Just had a really great piss

I mean properly magical. I'm at a hotel so the bathroom has mirrors everywhere and the lighting was perfect. A not too silver not too gold stream just came out splendidly. A nicely paced steady stream of urine that just felt right. In these tumultuous times it was just what I needed. Next time I might bottle it and send it to Russia so they can POUR IT DOWN THE FUCKING GULLETS OF THOSE INVADING UKRANIAN PIG WHORES!

POWER / GLORY

Some say I have access to the Akashic Records, others say I'm a hardcore prick. I don't mind either way. I've managed to work out where things went wrong though, when things turned unsavoury. No fucker believes me, they tell me to go back to David Icke's website which I'm happy to do. Nevertheless some fucked up repugnant shit has happened in the last few years and I've pinpointed where things started to go awry. The answer is Rob Cross 7-2 Phil Taylor.

You see Philip Douglas Taylor has been our protector for some time, carrying on from Eric Bristow, using the power of their darts to keep us safe from aliens, the lizard people, the corrupt and the downright evil. Who would risk feeling the wrath of Taylor's Tungsten or Eric's Arrows in their heydays? No cunt that's who! But now Eric's dead and Phil's retired and we are well and truly fucked.

The Conductor

TBC