I had suspected for a while that I was suffering from erectile dysfunction.

The receptionist doesn't know it, but there's a trickle of piss running down my trouser leg. I'm lucky it's raining outside — if it reaches the floor, having first seeped through my shoes, I've got an alibi. Until the smell hits his nostrils, anyway. I sign the piece of paper and need him to hand over my room key before the trickle becomes a torrent. I don't want it to look strange that I'm heading straight back outside, so I tell him I'm going for a ciggie. I'd clocked the r

When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my quarters that said "Dead Klingon Storage"?

And wiping my arse Is a thing of the past If I try it with hooks I'll need help pretty fast

The algorithm suggested Black Doves for me tonight - fuck me what a start! More happened in the intro than takes place in a lot of films these days. It's what's needed I guess, you need to grab Tik Tok cunts by the hair and fuck their face into something to make them notice it. YouTube trailers have been like that for a while, the trailer within the trailer at the start, for those with less than 5 seconds of attention span. So you need to do something obscene from first bell

A heartwarming short about a grandad and his grandson